Hello again. My goodness, how quickly time can fly, and how quickly things can change.
I suppose the most important thing to note is my schedule, it goes a little something like this:
Monday to Friday, 9-5 : work.
Thursdays, 6:30-7:30 pm: Jr.Vets Club(volunteer) planning meeting
Thursdays, 8-9pm: "Zumba"
Sundays, 1-3: Volunteering
Every last Tuesday of each month, 7-9pm: book club
Shortly, this will change, as my Zumba classes will end, and then my planning meeting for this volunteer group will change to teaching the actual classes, which will go from 5:15pm until 8:30pm on Thursday nights, and 9am until 12pm on Saturdays.
ALSO, I am going to a new class which I (hopefully, if all goes well) will attend once or twice a week on any free night (most likely Mondays and Fridays). It's called Moksha Yoga, and it's basically doing yoga in a specially heated room, so that you sweat and burn calories faster. It's supposed to be cleansing. Surprisingly, it was my boyfriend's idea, he's all for it. I just hope he enjoys it.
SO, I suppose the point of bring all this up is to show how busy I am, or am making myself. I am doing this for a couple different reasons:
1) When I'm under controlled pressure, like deadlines, etc., I tend to crack down and get stuff done. I am 10x more efficient if I feel pressured. Now, I run the risk of stressing out if it gets to be too much, but... this is a fairly controlled schedule, so I feel pretty comfortable with it so far.
2) Health reasons. Alot of the extra stuff I'm doing, like the Zumba classes and the Moksha Yoga are for the benefit of my health and weight. At first glance, yes, I'm a chubby girl. I have a lot of extra padding, and I am looking to drop that, for vain reasons, but also because I do have some unrelated medical issues that could suffer if I keep gaining weight.
3) It gives me a sense of worth and acceptance; I'm out in the community volunteering with the Humane Society, I'm at a dance class and a yoga class meeting people, I'm dedicating time to myself and to others and I think that it will be good for my mental health to have a designated amount of time a week where I can focus on what I need. Also, by helping out the SPCA, I really believe that it's good karma. I used to be pretty good about volunteering in the community in my home town, but the last few years I've been too caught up in the changes of my life to focus on things outside of my own interests. So I plan on making that up. I'm involved in the Jr. Vet's Club, which teaches empathy, compassion and general knowledge to kids aged 6-11 in regards to animals. I'm also being considered for the planning board for a couple special events going on at the center, AND, I plan on going in for a few hours every Sunday to help clean the cages, feed the animals, and play with the cats and small animals to keep them company. Not only does it give me good experience resume-wise, but someone/thing is benefitting from my involvement aside from me, and that's good karma.
4) And, my last reason, though probably my most selfish reason, is that I want to distract myself. There's a lot of stuff going down at work, and in my personal relationships that I need to get away from once in a while. I also don't want to find myself bored some week night where the best thing I find to do is to sit on my ass, watch tv, and eat myself stupid.
If I'm busy and on the go and constantly planning and putting myself on a schedule, it won't allow for anything...out of the ordinary to happen, like eating a tub of ice cream or meeting up with people all the time to the point that negative things happen.
I guess I just need to redefine myself; I've been craving a schedule for years now. I thought I had it once I got my full time job; monday to friday ain't all that bad. But it wasn't enough. I need to structure my evenings and weekends if I want to feel like a normal, functioning part of society. Also, I love trying new things and meeting new people. I need to leave negative influences behind and expose myself to better things.
I just hope to god it works.